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| Pythagoras Meme |
Speaking of Pythagoras, check out Key and Peele's video on the same Theorem. And who said Maths is not fun?!?
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Thursday, 20 February 2014
Pythagoras Meme
A Meme I Created for Pythagoras...
Speaking of Pythagoras, check out Key and Peele's video on the same Theorem. And who said Maths is not fun?!?
Speaking of Pythagoras, check out Key and Peele's video on the same Theorem. And who said Maths is not fun?!?
Thursday, 15 August 2013
Proof that Ninjas tried to attack my blog
Bam! Just dodged a flying kick. Why? Blog ninjas. That is why.
Don't believe me. See below.
It's a drawing inspired by the very first article I ever wrote on this blog ... and the ninjas that clearly attacked it with ninja skills (as proven by my subsequent drawing).
:-)
Don't believe me. See below.
It's a drawing inspired by the very first article I ever wrote on this blog ... and the ninjas that clearly attacked it with ninja skills (as proven by my subsequent drawing).
:-)
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Countdown of the Top 20 Cool Music Videos on YouTube
Notable entries that missed the list are in no order:
- The Duck Song by forestfire101
- A song from The Rap News by The Juice Media
- Newton Faulkner playing percussion on his guitar while covering Teardrop by Massive Attack
- David Choi covering Telephone by Lady Gaga
- Harry Potter and the Mysterious Ticking Noise (which you will NEVER EVER get out of your head!)
But without any more delay, here is the top 20, from 20 to 1.
20) Cool Guys Do Not Look Back at Explosions by The Lonely Island
A humorous song that makes fun of every action film that was ever, or will ever, be made.
19) Michael Jackson is a taxi driver
The above might be a bit misleading. It is not the real Michael Jackson, but this taxi driver sings just like him. Mind you, being ESL, he does pronounce some words strangely. But then so did MJ when it suited him.
18) Charlie the Unicorn 1, 2, 3
This is not technically just a song. Instead, it is a unique (read: drug-inspired?) cartoon with very random songs.
17) Take U To Da Movies by Bangs
There is something about Bangs. I do not know what it is. It could be the stock photos that have stock photo written on them. It could be his lyrics that are very descriptive, including detailing his inner dialogue about which chair to choose. Or any number of things. Perhaps you just have to watch it yourself.
16) Oasis Medley by Tripod
Comedy trio uncover the cheekiness of Oasis music.
15) Bromance song
A song about the brotherly love between a guy and another guy.
14) FBI Warning song by Community Channel
A hip hop inspired FBI Warning at the beginning of a video or DVD.
13) TV Show Medley by Fredde Gredde
What is says on the label. A talented musician interpretting TV show themes in an entertaining medley.
12) Everyday Normal Guy by Jon Lajoie
This is a rap song unlike the usual ones you might hear on the radio. It does not talk about the expensive cars, plethora of sexual partners and gold chains, but the lack thereof. Enjoy!
11) Dramatic Song by Toby Turner
A funny song with a target market for non-English speakers, or those English speakers who enjoy a laugh. After you watch this, feel free to check out the responses from Grandmas around the world. Some are well done, some are less so.
10) In Your Arms by Kina Grannis
Kina deserves a song in this list for the beautiful music she creates, but especially for this video. This online film clip took years of stop animation genius to make. The whole video is made with jelly beans. So, awesome.
9) The Humans are Dead by Flight of the Conchords
Flight of the Conchords are my favourite comedy act. Well, they are at the moment. It always changes. And this is my favourite song of theirs.
8) Somebody that I Used to Know (Gotye) covered by Walk Off the Earth
How could a list about top YouTube videos not include this one. It has well over 100 million views, so enough said.
7) Epic Rap Battles of History
Ever wondered what would happen if you took historical figures, gave them each a mic, and then set them against each other in a rap battle. Here is a sample of their work, but there were quite a few I could have posted instead. Mind you, the words historical figures can be a loose term, and so depending on your belief system and your age, this video might not necessarily featuring real people.
6) Harry Potter Theme Songs by Paint
Did you know all the songs in the Harry Potter movies had words? Well now you are informed. See below.
5) Haters Wanna Be Me by Froggy Fresh (formerly known as Krispy Kreme)
This rapper embodies the adage about being so bad that you are good. I am pretty sure this is a joke, but you never know. I have put one song in the top 25, but I could have put a whole lot more.
4) Schmoyoho and Charlie Sheen - Winning
Schmoyoho are known for autotuning news segments, and making some great songs. In this video they autotune interviews with Charlie Sheen. And yes, Charlie Sheen actually did say these things in a real conversation.
3) Enrique Iglesias - Hero: Literal Version
As far as I can tell, the original version of this has been taken off YouTube. Probably because it was too awesome and YouTube could not handle the awesomeness. It is essentially the film clip of Hero by Enrique Iglesias that has been dubbed to describe exactly what is happening in the video. There are other versions, but this is probably the best one.
2) Schmoyoho and the Bed Intruder Song
This is the second song from Schmoyoho in the charts, and there could have easily been more. This time they autotune a news story with the charismatic Antoine Dodson, who is being interviewed after chasing out an intruder from his home.
1) 4 Chords Song by Axis of Awesome
An Australian comedy trio belt out hit after hit in a hilarious medley, using the same four chords. This makes the top of my list, but if you think I am wrong, about this one or any of the ones above, feel free to tell me so in the comments below.
And if you have enjoyed this article, feel free to subscribe on your above right to get more articles like this, as well as free sci-fi, fantasy and comic stories :-)
Saturday, 22 December 2012
If you believed the Mayans, you just got PUNKED!
I am taking a week's break for the holiday season.
In the meantime, I would love to hear from you about what you have enjoyed about this blog, and what you haven't.
You can email me on danielgrantnewton @ gmail . com
Also, if you are looking for a good Christmas present for someone, you could be the coolest kid in class and buy someone The Last King of Shambhala for just $9.99, making them quiver in excitement, thereby causing a cataclysmic eruption that fulfils the Mayan prophecies!
Anyway, have a wonderful holiday season, best wishes to you, and see you in a week's time.
Daniel
This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper.
- T.S. Eliot
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
Yes, it is time to buy a new calendar (to all my Mayan readers)
On Tuesday, I wrote to the survivors of the Mayan Calendar detailing to them a brief overview of my top 9 articles for 2011. Now I am recording the articles for 2012.
Perhaps one day when aliens have colonized this empty dead planet and they want to know about our culture, they will uncover the Internet in a Google Plus Tomb, dust off the ancient sands, and celebrate these masterpieces of human potential.
Goodbye world... until tomorrow when I post the next chapter of The Last King of Shambhala ... survivors, do not forget - a new chapter every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Top 9 Articles of 2012
An online novel about a group of elite soldiers sent back in time to assassinate an illusive controversial historical figure, thereby making the world a better place.
My journey in no longer ever working a 9-5 job again, and becoming a full time novelist and comic book artist.
My tribute (with Anabel and Colin) to the greatest performing artist the world has ever seen.
Lodbrok is a crazy character in my book The Last King of Shambhala, and he came into my blog to do an interview. All I would like to say is that I don't want to be held responsible for ANYTHING he said!
A suggestion to George Lucas and the Cookie Monster.
5 ways to check.
Have you heard of KB and New Jinny? No, probably not. But they won Eurovision twice in the same year. Their music soothed a tiger shark with rabbies. And they are so underground they can't be found in Wikipedia or a book with glowing pages.
As Will Ferrel says in Anchorman, "I don't know how to put this, but I am kind of a big deal. People know me."
One of the few times I am serious. This article gives some great tips on writing YOUR next novel!
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
Is your horse a unicorn? 5 quick ways to check...
FAKE NEWS!
5 quick ways you can tell if your horse has the potential to become a unicorn
5 quick ways you can tell if your horse has the potential to become a unicorn
Every horse trainer hopes one day to either win the Melbourne Cup, or have their mare birth a unicorn or Pegasus. According to a groundbreaking book by mythological vet, Amanda Tapping (no relation to the Sanctury and Stargate star), there are a few telling signs to look out for when wondering whether your horse has magical tendencies.
The book also details how to use lost/uncommon/ancient/scientific/forbidden/reiki techniques to encourage the protrusion of wings or a horn, the proper care for such a beast, and which quests to take them on and not to take them on.
Ms. Tapping, a mythological vet for 12 years (that is to say she both has been mythological herself AND has worked with mythological creatures for 12 years), believes that the real challenge is recognising which horses are closet unicorns. Here are her 5 tips.
1) Does the head feel bumpy? This is often a sign the horse is hiding a horn.
2) Does the horse talk? A lot of people disregard their horse talking in perfect diction as a 'phase', or they simply believe all horses talk. This is not so. If someone had recognised it earlier, 'Mr. Ed' could have been 'Mr. Magical Horse from Another Dimension with a Horn and/or Wings who also happens to Talk'.
3) Is your horse farting rainbows? This is a clear sign something is not ordinary about your horse. Especially if they are flying around the farmyard while they do this. It might however mean you should not be deviating from typical horse food as much as you are. In this case you need to take them to a vet or rub into their forehead the salty tears of a lost orphan manatee.
4) Has their been an ancient prophecy held in the family that one day a unicorn will be born in your barn? If not, but you would like a unicorn, perhaps make one today - it's not too late. Alternatively if they were born on the same day as when all the celestial bodies in this galaxy came into perfect alignment, or a Harry Potter book was released, then they are almost certainly a unicorn.
5) Does your horse talk to elves, fairies, dwarves or ethereal beings? This may or may not be understandable to your human ears, and the beings they are talking to may not be visible, but if you confront the horse about it, and it shakes its head or stamps its feet, then that is your confirmation.
Sunday, 5 August 2012
Fake News! Zombie diseases are changing the online dating industry...
They use to say it is never too late to date, and now with the emergence of lonely and single undead from cemeteries across the world, the adage has never been more true. Stretching their cold dead hands across keyboards, zombies have been staggering and moaning in hoards to websites like GetMeAZombieDate.com and DoesMyBottomLookDeadInThis.com.
Melissa, a 22 year old graphic designer from Birmingham, stated zombies are the new vampires. "Last year it was all vampires, but they quickly got boring as they could only go out at night and were very moody.
"I even dated one vampire with a purple face, Count Dracula, and he spent all night counting the calories I consumed at dinner. But zombies are different. They are much more fun and they really take things slow with the relationship."
Melissa's friend Jody, a 27 year old sales consultant, has not followed the craze. "I am like one of those ladies who doesn't follow trends, and stuff. Plus I am really into hygiene, and Melissa's 'zomboyfriend', Dave, is smelly and looks like death warmed up. And sometimes his limbs just fall off. That's gross."
Melissa however believes that Dave's sensitivity and sense of humour makes up for these faults that Jody sees in him. She is just one of many finding love after death do us part.
Thursday, 21 June 2012
Robot Interviewed on News - Could this be the future, or some type of bad joke?
Hey there, short note from me this time.
My travels in Vietnam have now come to a close. I stepped off the plane onto US soil, with plans to go to Canada and work there.
But, as a 9-5 escapee, I do not plan to go back to the life of a robot. I plan to keep writing for my readers, and creating, creating, creating. And land the perfect job.
I'll update you as I go - as usual.
Daniel
Monday, 28 November 2011
Idiot's Guide to Internet Trolls ... What?!?
troll 1 | trōl|
noun
a cave-dwelling being with a dwarf intellect making rude comments online, typically having a very ugly appearance despite claims online to the contrary.
troll 2
verb
sending an e-mail message or posting on the Internet with the intention to provoke a response, hateful interaction or draw attention to themselves by being &*$#@.
________________________________
Until the other week, I hadn't had even one 'hater message', let alone a 'troll', on my YouTube channel since I started posting. But even so I developed a contingency plan just in case - a YouTuber's creed - for when the inevitable happened. It was:
Do not respond. Perhaps thank them for their opinion, but don't engage.
That motto, however, went out the window when I received my first trolling comment.
Said troll wrote:
This was just way too funny not to respond. I HAD to respond, and so I wrote:
Note: It was for my bowling prank video.
I thought to myself, if you're going to call someone an "idiot", at least get the basic punctuation right. That's three words he's written, and he managed to screw up two out of three. That's an amateur troll's mistake.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't make a habit of fixing people's grammar up, even if they are freakin' hilarious mistakes (because I know I make mistakes on my blog).
I didn't, for example, draw attention to the irony in this statement made on YouTube (despite the temptation):
Mind you, if I called him an idiot for making elementary mistakes, I guess his rebuttal could be "it takes one to know one". That ALWAYS worked in the playground, and if we were to take this premise to be correct, it would confirm his initial analysis of me to also be correct.
Anyway, by being called an idiot it came to my attention that that qualifies me as someone who could write the "Idiot's Guide to Trolling".
Idiot's Guide to Internet Trolls
So here it is, the definitive guide for any troll or troll wannabe. I've already mentioned the first rule ... (don't call someone an idiot with bad punctuation, unless you believe it takes one to know one, and you used the bad punctuation as a ploy to confirm the previous statement) ... so here's the second rule.
Rule #2: The Law of Getting Attention
As you can see from the graph above, the more of a tool a troll is, the more attention they'll get... until it gets to a point where everyone realises they are a complete waste of oxygen and decides to no longer engage with them. When this happens, it is time for the herd of trolls to move onto a new video or article.
Rule #3: Less is more.
Often it is tempting for a troll to try to compete with someone who has well thought arguments, or big words... just don't.
Trolls have limited capacity for insight or retrievable knowledge. Their brains are filled with other things like... well, I'm not sure on the contents (unfounded prejudices, perhaps?), but they don't have any room for any of that "smart stuff".
So the motto for trolls should be: less is more. When someone speaks to a troll using unfair and confusing words with 7 or more letters, combat this with four letter words and personal insults that you claim are true based on your mentalist perception of their words and opinions.
Rule #4: Claim credibility.
Why have credibility when you can just claim you have it? It is much easier, and can be changed to suit the argument.
A good tactic for a troll is to say they went to Harvard or Oxford (or both) and studied in a relevant field relating to the video. It is common knowledge that Harvard and Oxford graduates trawl the Internet looking for petty fights and cannot spell - so when trolls use this tactic they are taken for their word.
They can also claim good looks, an abundance of sexual partners, or a high IQ. These too are believable and help win any online argument.
Conclusion
If you're anything like me, you are probably tired of the trolls. They can go back to Middle Earth I say!
Anyway, if you think I have missed out any Rules for Trolls, feel free to use the comment form below and tell me. Have a great 'troll-free' day!
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Nerdiest Superhero like EVER: Dainty Green Tree Frog Man (Pt3)
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| Above is a visual representation of the totem animal of our favourite hero, but not necessarily the correct species. |
Below is part three of the Dainty Green Tree Frog Man series. If you haven't read the first two parts, then click here or here and stop being the nerdiest kid in class. If you have read the first two parts, then you are probably the coolest person you know, and you are totally underground, and you should read on before the story becomes like so mainstream that it stops being cool and whatever and gives you Bieber Fever.
Back at the Dainty Green Tree Frog Hideout.
Stefan the hair dresser and Todd Grayson were deep in discussion, when suddenly the lime green phone in the middle of the garage began to ring.
‘Dainty Green Tree Frog Man,’ they said in unison as they jumped up from their seats and ran to the phone.
‘Hello Dainty Green Tree Frog Man,’ said Todd as he picked up the receiver. ‘What’s going down?’
‘Todd, I know where The Lungfish Lair is… I’m on my way there now.’ There was a pause on the other end of the line. ‘I think Joanne, the journalist, might be following me. Can you stop her? It could be quite dangerous.’
‘I’ll see what I can do,’ Todd said. ‘Be careful.’
‘Aren’t I always?’
Kangaroo Point. Entrance to the abandoned bunker behind the hospital. Night time.
Dainty Green Tree Frog Man waded through the long grass towards the hidden bunker. He pushed through the shrubbery and overhanging vines that had grown over the entrance, and carefully stooped inside.
Inside the bunker there was a series of stone passageways. With his superhero instinct guiding him, and instructions scrawled on the wall by The Lungfish as reminders, Dainty Green Tree Frog Man was able to creep through the maze towards the main chamber.
He stopped all of a sudden before turning the last corner. He could hear The Lungfish in the next chamber.
The Lungfish sat at the back of the chamber on a throne made of coral, with a squirming, silvery-flashing fish in his scaly hand. The walls of the chamber had been taken over by moss and seaweed, and in the middle of the stone floor there was a pool of water. On closer inspection, the pool was very deep and seemed likely to be part of an underwater system that led to the Brisbane River
‘So, that’s how The Lungfish has been able to escape my clutches so many times,’ whispered Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
‘Do you know that lungfish eat frogs?’ said The Lungfish all of a sudden as he took a bite out of the raw fish in his hand. ‘It is pretty daring for you little frog, to come into my lair like this.’
Dainty Green Tree Frog Man didn’t come out from the passageway. He reasoned that The Lungfish could not see him. ‘He must just be practicing a speech for next time we battle,’ Dainty Green Tree Frog Man thought. Kind of like the speeches he himself practices in front of the bathroom mirror.
‘Come out Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
Dainty Green Tree Frog Man eased out from behind the wall.
‘We meet again fish-brain,’ taunted the superhero in a very childish manner.
‘I see you worked out my haiku riddle.’
‘As always.’
‘Ah. But have you worked out my genius master plan?’ The half-fish half-man sniggered. ‘I didn’t think so.’
‘Whatever it is, it won’t work,’ replied Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
‘Is that so?’ said the fishy man with an amused expression behind his mask. ‘I have a newsflash for you, you puny amphibious loser, my ingenious plan will work. I’d get you to tell your little journalist friend that newsflash, if I thought you’d ever see her again.’ The Lungfish’s shoulders began to bounce as he suppressed a string of giggles.
‘Newsflash,’ said Dainty Green Tree Frog man, desperately thinking on his feet for a rebuttal. ‘Newsflash says I will… see her… again.’
‘Not likely, my friend. You won’t be able to stop me this time. I am so confident you won’t be able to stop me, in fact, I’ll tell you exactly what I’m going to do,’ The Lungfish mockingly retorted.
This seemed a highly risky move by the super villain, but… I do digress. Back to the story…
‘As you know, humans do not respect the animal world,’ started the villain. ‘They do not respect me, and they do not respect you. For a long time, I asked you to be my partner in crime, because you, like me, did not gain respect for the animal you represent. But always you protected the humans that ruin our habitat. Your betrayal of who you are makes you an even more sad being.’
‘Get to the point, Lungfish.’
‘That night on the CityCat, you sucked up the gas I used and handed it to the boys down the lab as evidence, yeah?’
‘They had never seen anything like it before.’
‘Exactly.’ The Lungfish paused as he squeezed out of his coral throne. ‘Because I made it myself, and that night on the CityCat, was just a test.’
‘I sucked it up before it hurt anyone.’
‘Aren’t you just the Citizen of the Year?’ he said dryly. The Lungfish put a chubby cigar in between his yellowing teeth. ‘But not hurting anyone? That is where you are wrong, Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
‘The boys down the lab, have you seen them recently?’
‘No. What did you do to them?’
‘Nothing. They decided to test my mixture, didn’t realise how potent it was. Now they are swimming with the fishes.’ The Lungfish gave an exaggerated cackle.
‘You killed them.’
‘No, better. My gas turns people into Queensland Lungfish.’
‘You wouldn’t.’
‘Why not? I am a mad, eccentric super villain who knows no limits.’ The Lungfish raised his arms in the air dramatically. ‘I am going to change every man, woman and child into Queensland Lungfish. No one will be spared. The entire world will be populated with lungfish.
‘They would not listen to our pleas to save the animals of the world. But they will listen now, and they will understand. Swim a mile in a fish’s flippers and see things in their perspective, hey?’
‘Well, if nothing else, you are a big dreamer, fish-face.’
‘And tonight, at Riverfire, as the last fireworks go up,’ said The Lungfish between his teeth, which were beginning to rattle like a machine-gun as he got more excited, ‘my special gas will be released into the air, and thousands of people will be turned into fish…’
‘And have to squirm to the water,’ Dainty Green Tree Frog Man said, finishing off what The Lungfish was saying. ‘Not if I can help it.’
‘I haven’t forgotten you, Dainty Green Tree Frog Man,’ smirked the stocky fiend. ‘I have something special for you. It seems you have a certain resistance to my gas, or otherwise you would not have been able to activate your little toy and save the day.’
A blue boulder, with chains suspending it from the ceiling, was slowly lowered to the ground. The boulder began to glow as it came near Dainty Green Tree Frog Man, and the man in lime green fell to the ground clutching his head.
‘Stop it. I can’t stand it,’ cried Dainty Green Tree Frog Man as the veins in his head and neck began to swell.
‘I call it Brisbanite,’ started the villain. ‘It has similar properties to Kryptonite, but I found it in the Brisbane River Tree Frog Man.
As The Lungfish disappeared into the waterhole in his lair, Dainty Green Tree Frog Man’s eyes rolled back in his head. Would this be the end for our fearless hero? Would the firework-lovers of Brisbane
The answer to both those questions is ‘yes’. Well, it would have been ‘yes’ if not for an extraordinary occurrence that could only happen in a comic-book-like story.
Suddenly, two figures raced through the entrance to the chamber. Dainty Green Tree Frog Man quickly turned to see both of them racing towards him. One was female with slow-motion-flowing auburn hair, and the other was a male without a neck.
The female wore lime green PJs and lime green slippers. The male wore an akubra hat with corks dangling from it, a scarf over the bottom half of his face, a Brisbane Broncos jersey, and maroon thongs.
‘We’ve come to save you Dainty Green Tree Frog Man,’ said the male superhero in a familiar voice.
‘Who are you?’ croaked Dainty Green Tree Frog Man in reply.
‘I am Captain Brisbane,’ said this new male superhero, putting a fist to his chest.
‘And I,’ said the female superhero, ‘am Dainty Green Tree Frog Girl. Although I prefer to be called “Litoria gracilenta Girl”.’
‘Do I know either of you?’ said the man in green.
‘Peter,’ said Captain Brisbane as he took off the scarf, ‘it’s us.’
‘Todd,’ exclaimed Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
‘Joanne Gardner. The journalist you dated.’
‘Oh, I didn’t recognise you. You’re not…’
‘Not wearing glasses.’
‘Yeah, and your hair is different.’
‘Thanks to Stefan. Great disguises, hey? We had to make them at the last minute, and all I had that was lime green was my PJs. The only problem is that without glasses I can’t really see so I keep bumping into walls.’
‘So she knows who I am?’ asked Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
‘I filled her in on the way here,’ said Todd.
‘We were worried about you, and figured Brisbane
‘Well, get me out of here. My legs have stopped working,’ Dainty Green Tree Frog Man said with some urgency.
The two friends grabbed him from either side and took him out the way they came in.
‘Where are we going, Peter?’ asked Todd.
‘The river. He’s planned an attack for Riverfire,’ answered Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
By the Brisbane River
The three heroes pushed through the crowd looking for The Lungfish. Suddenly, the ground began to shake and a noise like explosions reverberated through the crowd. Everyone looked up and pointed at the sky.
‘The F1-11s,’ someone said, as what looked like a fiery comet blazed across the sky.
‘Do you think he is up in the plane?’ asked Todd.
‘No, I don’t think so Captain Brisbane,’ replied Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
In the sky, fireworks burst into greens, pinks, yellows, reds, blues and oranges. The crowd, transfixed by the explosions of colour in the night's sky, ooh-ed and ahh-ed.
The three heroes pushed to the front, to the displeasure of the crowd, and then hurried across the bank, silhouetted in the pyrotechnics.
‘Do you think he is somewhere here on the bank?’ asked Joanne.
‘He could well be,’ said Dainty Green Tree Frog Man. Brisbane River
The water splashed and bubbled, but with super-human strength, he pulled the fishy villain out of the water. The Lungfish’s body clenched in the shock of being plucked out of water, and with a wild swing, punched Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
The Lungfish crashed onto the wooden planks of the bikeway, but quickly leapt onto his feet to land another punch on the scrawny man in green. Dainty Green Tree Frog Man staggered to the ground.
The Lungfish disappeared into the crowd. Dainty Green Tree Frog Girl and Captain Brisbane leapt into action, and began to chase him.
‘There is only one way to catch a fish… bait,’ Dainty Green Tree Frog Man said aloud, although his voice was drowned out by the fireworks above. And as the fireworks built to a crescendo, our favourite superhero’s mind raced.
All of a sudden, a smile crept to the edges of his face. He quickly pushed through the crowd towards the refurbished State Library. He unclipped a machine from his plastic utility belt.
‘This should do,’ he said as he activated the machine. ‘My Dainty Green Tree Frog fish-odor creator. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier?’
As the stench of dead fish filled the air, people began to groan and back away from Dainty Green Tree Frog Man.
‘What is that awful smell?’ spluttered one man.
‘That’s rank,’ said another holding his nose.
‘Johnny, have you got wind again, darling?’ said a mother to her son.
But one person in the crowd was not backing up. He was violently shoving through the crowd towards it. The Lungfish could not resist the tasty smell coming from the Dainty Green Tree Frog fish-odor creator.
‘It seems, Lungfish,’ said Dainty Green Tree Frog Man as his two accomplices grabbed his flippers and hand-cuffed them to each other, ‘that in fact, I have out smarted you.’
Middle of Queen Street Mall. Middle of the next day.
Two wart-covered hands picked up The Courier Mail. Their owner scoffed at the front cover. The front cover had a large picture of Brisbane
‘Brisbane
The boy’s accent and diction was perhaps more at home in an Oliver Twist high school play, than in a newsagent on the Queen Street Mall, Brisbane
The man with wart-covered hands lowered the newspaper, and stared at the boy with two large yellow eyes.
‘Evil will prevail, son. Mark my words,’ croaked the man with warty hands and strange yellow eyes.
‘Who are you?’ said the boy as he stumbled backwards into the wall behind him.
‘Doctor Toad,’ said the man simply as he threw the newspaper at the boy. ‘Dainty Green Tree Frog Man’s worst nightmare.’
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