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Thursday, 1 January 2015

Freaky Freaky 2015

Happy New Year!

One more week until Freaky Freaky Fridays are back!
Hello again.  How are you?  It feels like we haven't spoken since last year.

Oh my Freya (as Thea and Friday would say), I just used that joke.  I am ashamed. It is a dad joke, and I do not yet have spawn with my surname.  What is going on??  I will now do twenty-three pushups as penance.

Never fear though, Freaky Freaky Fridays will never stoop so low as to use such stereotypical jokes.  Which is a shame because an Englishman, an Irishman and a Priest who all frequent bars wanted a role in your favourite webcomic, but were turned away at their FFF audition.

Alas, they may find work in other stories and works of humour, but not this one.  Unless the Englishman was a steampunk inventor/pilot with a mechanical piglet, the Irishman had a green face and was from the ancient race of Tuatha de Danann, and the Priest had a loose jaw that dragged 1km behind him like a limp serpent.

The barman could then say to the Priest, "why the long face?" and he could explain that his injury was the result of perpetually walking into steel bars for the laughter of small children.  The barman would then raise an eyebrow, and the priest would say "A priest walked into a bar... ouch!"  The barman would shake his head, and a small child hearing the joke for the first time would chuckle with laughter until milk came out of his nostrils to his mother's chagrin. 

You see, milk is a very sad liquid, and must escape from any hole if its consumer is overcome with extreme laughter.  Once Barry 'Boomer' Douglas Jnr. read an episode of Freaky Freaky Friday he found exceptionally humorous... however, he also blocked every hole in his body and drank milk to test what the milk would do.  He came to about the second page and his head began to shake before exploding. Barry 'Boomer' Douglas Jnr.'s head was no more, and in its place was a whitish high-in-calcium volcano spouting from his neck.

Alas, these fine British gentlemen and man of the cloth were perfectly ordinary, and this webcomic is about, for and by perfectly strange people.  Or unique people, if you like.  Like you and me.  So we had to send the normal people away with a snap lock bag of rations to consume and a map to where all the rivers meet at the mainstream.

But if you'd like a little more quirky strangeness in your life, and a little less of what she's having, then join me next week for the start of a new Freaky Freaky Friday adventure.  It is good and odd.

Oh, and have a very Freaky Freaky 2015.  I hope it is your best year yet, and it is filled with love, joy, laughter, fun, success and pixie dust.

See you in seven days for the first webcomic episode, and you shall see that it was good.

Your fellow Friday Freakster,

Daniel Grant Newton

P.S. If you missed the thrilling Christmas Special finale to the last season, or would just like to see what the Freaky Freaky Fridays fuss is about, use this glorious portal called a "hyperlink" and be transported to another world: http://bit.ly/1C5vRnE

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