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Tuesday, 4 October 2011

5 Easy Steps to Generating Ideas for Your Next Blog Article

Warning: This blog article may contain awkward jokes and little factual value.


When people find out I write a blog, they first ask me if I write articles about them. I of course answer that my blog is entirely about them. In reality however, this blog is entirely about you.

They then ask if I make money from my blog, or how I find the time to write a blog. I then answer with the same answer, no matter which question they've just asked. I say I own a time machine and plan to sell it on my blog. Haven't had any bids yet though.

Then finally, they ask me how do I come up with ideas to write about. This is a much harder question with a more considered answer. And so I thought, although I usually answer this question in the form of interpretive dance, today I'll write a blog entry about it.

5 Easy Steps to Generating Ideas for Your Next Blog Article

 Step 1: Feed Your Dinosaur

This step is a basic step, but one that is often ignored by bloggers. You'll be reading their blog every day when suddenly their entries simply stop. This is because they have not fed their dinosaur and it has eaten them. If you keep your dinosaur well fed, then it won't look for other sources of nutrients. Remember, when you are dead and in the stomach of a dinosaur, blog ideas do not come readily.

Step 2: Find a new hobby, have a child, or join a religious group

When you trawl through the many blogs out there to plagiarise their ideas, you will find many bloggers write about their hobby, their family, or their religious beliefs. If you have not done one of the following, then you may find yourself having trouble coming up with ideas. My recommendation is to do all three. Or combine them: make a hobby out of converting children you birth to different religions and blogging about it.

(P.S. I'm not fond of 'plagiarising of ideas' ... despite the joke above. I actually think it is the worst thing in the world after cancer, terrorism and the teletubbies.  NOTE: borrowing iconic pictures from well-known movies or video games to put into my blog does not count as plagiarising.  It is satire.  Completely different.)

Step 3: Travel back in time

Finding the time to write an entry is a common problem amongst blogger. But not when you have a time machine! All you need is a car that can travel 88 miles per hour, a flux capacitor, 1.21 gigawatts of electricity, and open road, baby. And not only does it give you much more time to think up an entry and then write it, but also you can go back in time and interview Socrates or Sir Isaac Newton or Brittney Spear's career. Ensure that you keep time machines away from children.

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Step 4: Buy a Bloginator

Bloginators are very useful for bloggers. Essentially it is a machine whereby a blogger feeds paper into it, and out the other end come blog articles that become heavily tweeted about.

The risk however is that one day someone will create a B1000, which will be able to think for itself. The B1000 will then rally all the other bloginators, and begin a bloody war with the blogging population.

Then the B1000 will go back in time in an attempt to destroy me because I revealed this secret which gave the military enough time to work out a way to stop the uprising. However luckily I will be saved by a less advanced bloginator which will end up throwing itself into vat of molten steel.


Step 5: Repeat yourself ... nobody will notice

Bloginators are very useful for bloggers. Essentially it is a machine whereby a blogger feeds paper into it, and out the other end come blog articles that become heavily tweeted about.

The risk however is that one day someone will create a B1000, which will be able to think for itself. The B1000 will then rally all the other bloginators, and begin a bloody war with the blogging population.

Then the B1000 will go back in time in an attempt to destroy me because I revealed this secret which gave the military enough time to work out a way to stop the uprising. However luckily I will be saved by a less advanced bloginator which will end up throwing itself into vat of molten steel.


So there you have it, 5 'fool-proof' steps to generating ideas for your next blog article.

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