Hello. Bet you are wondering why you have the pleasure - nay the ultimate earth-shattering ecstasy - to be visited by yours truly, king of the gods of Asgard, Odin.
Ummm... Good question! Why would I take time out of my busy day, in between all the being godly, doing godly type things, and all round godly stuff you couldn't comprehend in your mortal mind? It's a little thing that goes above all other powers. A little something called friendship.
That's right. I am an almighty king and a god, which makes me doubly important. But Daniel's away, not able to blog, and so he asked me to take over for today. And I didn't even think about it for a year. I just said yes almost straight away. (Time is naturally relative between worlds, so a year for you is like thirty seconds for me.)
That's what I do for a friend.
And any friend of Daniel's is a friend of mine. And so since you are a friend of his, consequently, you can call Odin a friend. Or an acquaintance. Actually, since I don't know you too well, I mean we have just met over this blog entry and all, perhaps let's keep that between us and your nearest of kin.
Actually, on second thoughts, tell everyone. I just saw this great video for some other guy of importance.
I now want you my loyal subject to go on national TV and sing me a song. Or on YouTube. You could show your utter admiration for your godly friend by writing a song like the one below about said other guy of importance:
I will wait. Are you done writing and performing your song? Feel free to send me the link.
Anyway, I am aware that some of you may not know who I am if you are a little slow, were raised by wolves and have no way of communicating with anything, and have no friends or family who could gush about me to you. So those of you who don't know me, firstly I would like to howl a greeting to you in your own tongue, and then bark that I am one of the main characters in Daniel's book The Last King of Shambhala, as well as Thor's father, Loki's lover, and a Nordic God (not in that order however).
I am the most famous god ever, probably. If you didn't know me, and you were not once one with the wolves, a hairless pup, then you are no doubt trying to deceive a god who knows all. Pretty much everything there is to know, anyway.
Well, you know, not ALL, because I have so much other important godly information to keep in my head and cannot include trivia. I am no king of trivia. I may not win Jeopardy or Who Wants To Be The Owner of Many a Rune Stone, but I do control the known and unknown universe, so I am kind of a big deal.
Okay. I admit it. Not all information in my head is important. And not all important information is in my head. And not all important heads are in information. We have advisors for that sort of thing.
But point being, if you didn't realise I was in The Last King of Shambhala, then call up the Guinness Book of Records because you were the last one in Midgard. Either that or buy the book The Last King of Shambhala on Amazon for $9.99 and educate yourself. Believe me, it is a great book, your life will be blown and your mind will be changed.
Wait a second, or about three weeks in my time. I have just been informed by my quiet advisor and watchman god, Heimdall, that what I just said was wrong.
I should have said your mind will be blown and your life will be changed. The Last King of Shambhala is both mind blowing and life changing.
Naturally, although what I previously said was wrong, gods cannot actually be wrong, especially the king of the gods, and so it is actually a flaw in your language.
When English was being developed by your primitive mortal race, perhaps so that you could express your admiration for you know who, you got it wrong. You know who is me by the way.
Anyway, from now on, changed means blown, and blown means changed. I have now blown the English language forever. As what should've been done previously.
Wisdom on my part. Wisdom to make the right changes (or blows rather) in the right places at the right time when the people are ready. Like only a boss knows how.
So now that I have introduced you to me, although let's face it, no introduction was needed. Although perhaps a barrage of trumpets and a marching band would not have gone astray, just saying.
Of course, I didn't want to make your eardrums changed by the millions of trumpeters and drummers, so I decided against that. I blew that decision. Hope you are keeping up with your new language blessed upon you by the handsomest and most charming of gods. Again, wisdom.
So wisdom, what is it? Great question. Wisdom is something mortals can never really have because they are innately stupid. But that can be blown.
Your grasp of wisdom and knowledge can be blown by continuing to read the words I am about to boom from the sky... And then type on this blog.
Buddha once said, "with our thoughts, we can change the world."
That's deep. Of course he was repeating something I told him, but good on him for recognising the importance of my words.
Another piece of wisdom: "A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others."
Who do you think said that? It was the Wizard of Oz. Haven't met the wizard, but sounds like a wise guy.
So Buddha and the Wizard of Oz. Philosophers.
But where did philosophy come from. Who invented it? I will give you a clue. It was me.
Was that too hard a clue for little human minds? It has been a long time since I have come to the land of Midgard as some of you have smelly feet.
You should know though that I created philosophy, geography, anthropology, psychology, and dinosaurs among other things for a laugh.
Anyway lessons for your head.
I will return to my world now, and let you ponder words from king of the gods of Asgard.
Peace be upon the generations that come from your lineage, and their cattle.